Only In Citrus County, Florida

One Sunday night, I was riding my motorcycle on the way to a friend’s house in Ocala.  I was cruising down a beautiful (but random) back road trying to find a scenic route, and I  started becoming slightly apprehensive about the looming thundercloud I was about to run right into.  I decided to look for a place to hide out an have a coffee for an hour or two, but where?  I was totally in the back woods!  I passed a gas station, and then up on the horizon saw a church.  There were quite a few cars in the parking lot, and so I decide to stop in and see what time their Sunday service started.

A young lady started her answer to my simple question by saying, “Praise the Lord!  Service starts in 20 minutes!”  I thought, “Uh-oh…”  Against my better judgment, my curiosity won out and I entered their sanctuary – preparing for the worst.

I must say, I was extremely warmly greeted – but I started to think that for whatever reason, the only thing that these people knew how to say was, “Praise the Lord!” Despite worries of H1N1 infection, I shook more hands that night than the president surely ever has.

Well, the service started, and this church had some great music.  The offering went around, and I coughed up a couple bucks to the Lord worth praising, and passed the plate.  Normal, everyday stuff, right?

Wrong.

Towards about the middle of the entertainer’s sermon, he mentioned something about an “Amen” offering. People all around started digging through their purses and wallets, and then holding money up in the air. To my astonishment, the entertainer came down from the pulpit and bolted to the nearest person with cash in the air. He grabbed it and shouted “Amen!”  He cruised at warp speed over to another person holding money in the air, shouting, “Hallelujah!” and the all too familiar, “Praise the Lord” at the next person.

After sprinting around the church and grabbing about 50 bills from different people, he then returned to the pulpit and began counting the money. I couldn’t believe it – in about 5 minutes of sprinting, he pulled up about $203 bucks.  I don’t know what’s crazier – the entertainer, or his church!

I was far too dazed to think about taking out my phone and video taping this escapade, but luckily I got a text message that snapped me back into reality.  I began recording right after the text message, and produced the video below.  I just HAVE to share this craziness!

Now, I’ll warn you – the video is REALLY poor quality, but here’s what happens.  The entertainer has counted the money, and gives it to the usher waiting at the pulpit. You can see the usher walking down the middle isle to the back of the church.  Now, some funny old lady in the back raises her hand, and the entertainer can see that she has a bill in her hand.  In the video, you can clearly hear him say, “If I go back there, it better be good!” and then sprints towards her.  The crowd goes nuts! Before running back up to the stage he shouts, “It’s a $50!”

Jeesh.  I wish I could make $253 in 6 minutes of sprinting around like a maniac… The only way I could is if I used my gun.