What the Heck? Only In Citrus County
Posted February 2, 2011
By Buster
I caught this on someone’s Facebook page who lives in Citrus County. Amazing.
Only in Citrus County!
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mom ?
OMG!!! It’s a black widow!!
hahaha i posted this on my facebook because it looks like my friend but its not idk who the heck it is omg i cant believe it made it on this site lol
Your famous now Zach haha!
Not only famous – but this picture actually brought a record number of visits to OnlyinCitrusCounty.com. You’re now famous all over the county
You know it’s bad when even Spandex requires that you find a tailor to do alterations. Notice that the pants he’s wearing don’t actually match the rest of the outfit. The really sad part is that the pants arent spandex at all. Those are one of MC Hammers old parachute pants being filled in and stretched out very inappropriately.
And yes, I agree, it’s hard to tell if it’s a man or woman. But I’m going to guess “registered sex offender man”. Because only then can you make sense of the 337 Disney VHS tapes on the shelf next to him compounded with the fact that he’s renovated a closet into a room behind him, has an SNES system ont he floor next to him, and is wearing a Marvel Comics costume that hides his face.
And I know, I know… “But Crayon, thats really biased of you to assume hes a sexual predator”. And, youre right. Being in Citrus County I suppose that thee is always the slight possibility that he’s an art/drama/gym teacher at one of the schools here.
Never in my life have I seen a picture that so blatantly, quickly and agressively made me start rooting for the evil villans in a comic book series.
But, black spidey or not, you’ve GOT to give him credit. This is the only Weeble Wobble that I’ve ever seen that has legs and still apparently doesn’t fall down no matter how much the odds are stacked against it. Apparently even Gravity phoned in a sick day when this picture was taken.
So… here’s how I’m thinking this conversation between model and photographer went down…
MODEL: I’m kinda nervous about this session. I’ve never done anything besides play Mall Santa.
PHOTOGRAPHER: No, no.. trust me. This is a hot look for you. I just wanna eat you up…
MODEL: Well, how do you want me to pose? I havent actually seen the movie because I don’t have a DVD player.
PHOTOGRAPHER: Just do what comes natural. Do your Mall Santa stance so you feel more comfortable.
MODEL: Okay. Just when youre snapping the pictures, make sure you get my good side.
PHOTOGRAPHER: From where I’m standing, you’ve got nothing but good sides, sexy.
MODEL: Thanks mom.
And I hope to everything holy that that is a pose he’s doing. I’d hate to think that somebody snapped the picture in mid swing while he was dancing to “drop it like its hot”.
I just can’t wait for the action figure to come out. I’m already making a list of friends strong enough to help me carry it home. Maybe this guy http://onlyincitruscounty.com/2011/01/big-trucks-only-in-citrus-county-fl/ would let us borrow his truck to transport it?